Photo
by afallenblackrose
Summary: Jesse is leaving to go to the rectory. Suze can't stop him, and she doesn't want to stop him. Unless he wants to admit his true feelings. But some things aren't meant to be. Read to find out! Chapter Six up Paul isn't who you expected him to be!
1. Chapter One: A Photo

Photo 

By: afallenblackrose

Author's Notes: Okay this story occurs before the party in _Haunted_. Some things are changed and others stay the same so I hope you like it.

Chapter One: A Photo 

Running into Debbie downstairs was the last straw. I thought to myself as I climbed up the stairs to my bedroom.

I ran into David followed by Max on my way up.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"Over to Todd's, and staying the night." He responded.

"Good idea." I said.

"You should do the same stay at CeCe's." He said.

"I will but I have something to do still."

"Okay, see you tomorrow Suze." He said and went down the remaining stairs.

Yeah, tomorrow. Let's just hope the house was still standing tomorrow. As I continued my way up the stairs I couldn't help but think about Jesse. That guy I tell you, he can just pull a heartstring and make me cry. I hadn't cried since Paul left.

_Paul_, ugh just the thought of that ass hole sent me into fits of frustration. And what he had said before he left?

**FLASHBACK**

_"Well, Suze?" Paul asked, staying where he was, in spite of the sea of humanity darting past him. "Is that it? You don't want me dead. You want me around. Because you like me. Admit it." _

**END OF FLASHBACK**

It just might have been true. That was if he hadn't tried to put the moves on me five minutes before. I had reached my door and prayed to God that he wasn't there. That's all I needed right now was for him to be there. I twisted the doorknob and peaked in glad to see that Jesse's spectral form wasn't on the window seat.

I made my way into the bathroom, to take a nice hot shower. Because let's face it even a hot bath wouldn't soothe my nerves right now. Turning the hot water tap on full blast, and stepping into the shower. Losing myself in the steam and stream of hot water.

Stepping out twenty minutes later and toweling myself off. Changed into my most comfortable hole filled jeans and a faded black silk tee. I opened up the bathroom door surprised to see that Jesse still wasn't there. You would think that he would have shown up by now at least to say good-bye. I walked over to my bed and collapsed on it.

Pulling out Jesse's portrait from underneath my pillow. I just stared at it, until I was near close to tears _again_. Finally having enough I stowed it under my pillow. Jesse was still nowhere to be seen. I got up from my bed sick of waiting.

If Jesse was going to show up he would have done it by now.

"Good-bye Jesse." I whispered and started to turn the doorknob to exit my bedroom. That's when I noticed the glow from the bay window. I stopped and stared. Jesse came into view.

"Susannah." He said. I bit my lip _hard_, if I hadn't the tears would have flowed.

"Jesse, I'm surprised you came back. I thought you would have stayed at the rectory and have Father D, fight your battles for you." I said. I was hurt and I didn't care if I sounded jealous or angry.

"Susannah," Jesse began.

"No, Jesse, I don't want to hear it. Whatever your explanation is I don't want to hear it, just go." I said. Jesse looked hurt. This was seriously killing me.

"Susannah, you should know it's better this way." He said.

_"Oh," I said with a shrug to show him how very, very unconcerned I was with the whole thing. "Sure. Give my best to Sister Ernestine."_

_He just stood there, looking at me. I couldn't read his expression. If I'd been able to, I'd have known better than to have let myself fall in love with him. You know, on account of the whole his-not-loving-me-back thing. His eyes were dark-as dark as Paul's were light-and inscrutable._

"That's all that you have to say to me! After all that we've been through!" Jesse asked. I blinked 'after all that we've been through!' What does he mean by that?

"Yeah, that's about it Jesse." I said going towards the door. "Oh, no wait."

"Yes?" Jesse said.

"I forgot about Craig. How is he doing?" I asked.

"The same, he still thinks that he shouldn't be dead and his brother should. If you want I can have Father-" He said still staring at me.

"No, I think you and Father Dominic have done enough. I can take care of Craig." I said.

"Fine." Jesse said shortly.

"Fine." I said in response.

"Well…" Those eyes bore into me. "Good-bye Susannah."

"Good-bye Jesse." I said and started to turn the knob.

"Susannah I…" Jesse said. But it was too late I had already had turned the door knob and was on my way out. But that tone that he was using made me stop in my tracks. I turned on my heels and looked at Jesse and he was looking at me. I shook my head and walked out the door. Closing it behind me.

I took a deep breath. That was a huge strain, it was miracle I didn't cry.

**FLASHBACK**

_"You are not use your, er, feminine wiles on Jesse." Father Dominic said._

**END FLASHBACK**

How was that Father Dominic? I didn't use my feminine wiles on Jesse and I didn't cry to him. The wall started to shake. I rolled my eyes. I had better get out of there.

The party was indeed starting. I pulled away from the wall and started to walk down the stairs and who did I run into? Paul of all people.

"Suze, I was just on my way to see you." He said smiling. I rolled my eyes and continued down the stairs. Paul right behind me.

"So, Suze, is it true that you and Rico are over?" He asked. We never really began.

"Yeah, it's over and he's moving into the rectory." I said. Paul whistled.

"A little harsh isn't he?" He said.

"You think?" I said.

"So, what are you up to right now?" He said.

"Nothing, I guess." I responded.

"How would you like to get out of here?" He asked. I turned around to face him.

"And do what exactly?" I retorted.

"Go see a movie or something?" He said.

"Fine, but if you try anything…" I said.

"I won't I promise, I'll keep my hands to myself." He said. Yeah like I could trust that.

Author's Notes: Well, what do you think? Is it worth writing another chapter? Tell me what you think and be HONEST!


	2. Chapter Two: can say a thousand things

Photo 

By: afallenblackrose

Chapter Two: can say a thousand things

Paul and I together in his car, _so_ many things could go wrong. So many damn things. I had a bad feeling about this from the start. So why had I agreed? WHY? What stupid thing had made me agree to this? WHAT?

Then one word popped into my head: Jesse.

Oh.

Enough said. I was trying hard to forget about him. Anything to forget about _him_. Even going to the movies with Paul while my stupid stepbrothers were having a party. The nerve of them I tell you. Something didn't feel right at all. My ears were prickling. Why were they prickling?

Silence.

Paul and I hadn't said a word to each other since we left my house. I wish Paul would say something to me anything so I wouldn't have to think at all. He reached for the radio and turned it on.

Music took the place of the silence.

_"Cool wind is blowing_

_Fingers through hair_

_Standing in an empty room alone_

_It feels like your there_

_Ooh alone_

_I know that you're there." _

It was an interesting song. It made me stop thinking about _him _and start to think that maybe Paul was a good person. Just maybe. But my hopes were dashed when the chorus came:

_"Are you a ghost?_

_Or are you alive?_

_Would you be here for me,_

_Be here for me now?_

_Imagination_

_Or are you for real?_

_Just give me a sign."_

Tears sprang to my eyes immediately. I looked at Paul quickly, wanting for him to change the radio station. Pleading with him mentally. He looked at me real quickly and changed the station. I brought my fingers up to my face wiping away the tears.

"Sorry about that." Paul said.

"It's okay," I said in response. Wait. Did Paul just _apologize_? It was time to break the silence between Paul and me.

"So where did you go after you stomped off school today?" I asked him.

"Back to my house, just to calm down and to think." He said.

"Think about what?" I asked.

"The usual things I think about." Paul replied a smile playing on his lips. I looked at him weirdly. _"The usual things I think about_. What could he have meant by that?

"Such as?"

"You, mostly." He said. Looking at me. I rolled my eyes looking away from him. He was using a pick-up line, he wanted me to forget about the whole "IF you try anything I'm out." Rule. It wasn't going to work. I was not_ that_ stupid.

"Right, why do I have feeling that you are just oh I don't know lying to me?" I asked.

"'cause you don't trust me." He said.

"And why would that be?" I asked.

"'cause you don't know what to think now that Jesse is gone." He replied. My breath caught in my throat. He didn't just say it did he? Please tell me that my ears deceived me. **PLEASE!**

"What did you just say?"

"You don't trust me, Suze, because you don't know what to think, now that dear old Jesse is gone from your life." He repeated.

"That's real nice thing to say. And just when I thought you were a good person too." I spat. Turning my face toward the road.

"You were actually starting to think that I was a good person? Really?" He said quietly.

"Yeah, I was." I said. Paul parked the car, and stared at me.

"Suze, why did you come with me tonight when you haven't given me the time of day since I got here?"

"Why do you think?" I asked.

"It's because of Jesse isn't it?" He asked.

"Partly, besides do you think that I would _actually_ want to stay at my house considering the party?" I said.

"No, I guess not." He said and got out of the car. Coming around the side to open my door. Why did he do that? It's not like we were on a date right? RIGHT?

"So what do you want to see?" Paul asked me. I looked up at the showings. Hm… good question. _Something's Gotta Give_ hm… wasn't Keanu Reeves in that? But it was a chick flick would Paul really want to see that?

"You can decide." I said. Paul looked at me and laughed.

"Okay, but be prepared for the consequences." He said.

"NEXT!" The guy in the booth said.

"Hi, two for the _Something's Gotta Give _showing at 11." Paul said.

"That would be $14.50 sir." Paul put his money down.

"Here you go sir enjoy the show."

"I plan to." Paul said in response. Now what exactly did he mean by THAT? And he actually was going to see a chick flick? Was he trying to impress me? Because… it was actually working.

"Tickets please."

"Here you go." Paul said handing over our tickets.

"Number 15 to your left."

"Thanks." We kept walking towards the concession stand.

"So a Diet Coke and a box of…?" Paul asked me.

"Milk Duds please."

"Okay I'll be back." I watched Paul walk to the counter and put in his order and pay. Was Paul really this sweet or was it just an act to get me to like him? I watched Paul come up to me and hand me my Diet Coke and box of Milk Duds.

"Thanks." I said.

"No problem, so what way were we supposed to go?" He asked.

"That way." I said pointing in the direction with my thumb.

"Let's go then." Paul said. Walking in the direction with me next to him.

"So you are actually going to sit through a chick flick?" I said to him.

"Yeah, I'm going to try anyway." He said looking at me.

"Are you trying to impress me?" I asked.

"Maybe." He responded aloof. Hm… things were getting curiouser and curiouser.

"Hello, Mr. Slater." A man said by the door to the auditorium.

"Hey, Max. How are you?" Paul said in response.

"I'm good and this must be Miss Simon. How do you do milady?"

"I'm okay, thanks." I said sending Paul a glance.

"The theater is ready for you guys." Max said and opened the door.

"Thanks Max. Follow me Suze, it's sort of dark in here." He said. I followed him. Once we walked out of the tunnel into the theater I saw that the theater was practically empty.

"Are you planning something Slater?" I asked.

"Who me? Nah." He said and followed me to our seats. I sat down and put my pop in the cup holder next to me.

"So, got anything to do for the next three hours?" Paul asked me.

"Not really." I said.

"Okay then." And the lights dimmed and the movie started. Half way through the movie I saw a spectral form sitting in the seat two rows below. It was probably just an old ticket seller. Nothing to worry about. Or so I thought.

Author's Notes: There is the requested second chapter of Photo! I hoped you liked it! Thanks everyone for all the reviews! I didn't expect so many! Go review and I'll update soon.


	3. Chapter Three: but it can't say the

Photo

By: afallenblackrose

Chapter Three: But it can't say the million things

My attention was distracted from the ghost, when Paul started to cringe. I looked over at him.

"You okay?" I asked.

"No, I mean look at what's going on!" He said in response. I looked up at the screen. I saw Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton starting to do each other.

"Okay, just think that's your grandfather and Sister Erinstein." Even as the words were coming out of my mouth I cringed.

"Do you realize what you just said?" Paul asked. I nodded. That was gross, even for me. I turned my gaze back to the screen. The ghost had disappeared. By the time my gaze had refocused Diane Keaton's character was crying because Jack had cheated on her.

"So was that you earlier?" Paul asked. I looked at him.

"You know, you are really starting to annoy me." Paul looked at me.

"Just answer the question Suze."

"Maybe it was maybe it wasn't. I won't tell you." I said and returned my gaze to the screen.

"Suze, it's okay to talk about it." Paul said. I sighed apparently I wasn't going to be watching the rest of the movie.

"Look, I know it's okay to talk about it, really I do. But the wounds are still fresh you know?" I said. Paul reached over and turned my face towards his.

"I understand that Suze. But really you need to move on." He said and kissed me. I moved away fast.

"Suze what the hell?" He said. I looked at Paul with pure hate.

"And here I thought you weren't actually going to do that." I said and got up from my seat and walked away.

"SUZE WAIT!" Paul exclaimed. I kept walking towards the exit. I really need to stop seeing the good in people. Really. I heard Paul's footsteps behind me just as I entered the dark tunnel out.

Great just great. Paul grabbed my hand and turned me to face him.

"Suze, why do you keep doing that?" He asked.

"Do what?" I respond.

"Walking away, you really need to stop doing that to people." He said. I tried to pull my hand out of his grasp, but it was as usual like _iron_.

"Let go of me, Paul." I replied.

"Not until you answer me." He said. I looked at him.

"Fine."

"If you are trying to forget about Jesse, then why did you walk away?" Paul asked.

"I…" I stumbled for words.

"You what Suze?"

"I need time," I started. " Jesse, just left today, and it's a knife in my back, Paul. You don't know what it's like to get a knife put in your back by someone you care for." I said finally. The tears I had held back since I left my room started to fall freely. I didn't stop them. Paul took out the handkerchief that he had given me earlier that day and handed it to me.

"Suze, I know how it feels to get a knife in your back by the one you care for. Believe me." Paul said. I looked up at him, wondering what he could possibly mean. Then I figured it out. Me.

"So, Suze, if that's what it is then I can understand, and I'll wait if that's what it takes I'll wait."

"Thanks Paul." I said as he released his hold on my hand. He nodded and followed me out of the tunnel. I froze though when I noticed a glow. Paul looked back and noticed the glow too.

"What is that?" He said.

"It's a ghost." I responded.

"Of course it is." Paul responded. We watched as the ghost materialized. It wasn't an old ticket seller like I thought. It was Craig.

"Craig what are you doing here?" I asked.

"A charge of yours I'm guessing?" Paul asked.

"Um, your brother's are tearing up the house. He told me to come get you." Craig said.

"He who?" I asked.

"Um, he told me not to tell you but you need to get back there." Craig said and disappeared.

"Great just great. Paul we got to get back to my house before the neighbors call the police." I said. Paul nodded his head.

"Let's go." Paul said.

Author's Notes: Okay it's short I know, try not to kill me! But I wasn't really inspired. Thanks for all the reviews! Go review and I'll update soon!


	4. Chapter Four: That I wanna say

Photo

By: afallenblackrose

Disclaimer: All lines in italics are from Meg Cabot's book _Haunted _book five of the Mediator series. Unfortunately I do not own the characters and what they say. I wish I did.

Chapter Four: That I Wanna Say

I was about to walk out of the tunnel when Paul stopped me.

"Suze, wait I got a better idea." He said.

"Paul, I don't have time to for one of your brilliant ideas." I said.

"Remember how I told you about shifting?" He asked.

"Yeah, but what does this have to do with anything?" I asked.

"Why take the car when you can shift?" He said raising an eyebrow.

"You have got to be kidding me." I looked at Paul. He gazed back serious. "I guess not. Okay, fine, how does it work again?"

"Close your eyes and imagine your house." He said.

"Imagine my front porch that way it won't be weird if we just pop in." I responded.

"Okay, your front porch then." Paul said and closed his eyes. I did too and imagined my front porch and me being there. And when I opened my eyes I was there.

"Interesting." I said as Paul opened his eyes and grinned.

"Told you it would work." He did have a point and that was scared me. Paul was actually right about something. Scary. I opened the front door to find a disaster. Empty beer cups _everywhere_ but no sign of my step brothers. And that was a good thing, 'cause if my step brothers were there then I would of slugged each one.

"Whoa, it looks like a natural disaster hit." Paul said from beside me.

"If you see my step-brothers let me know." I said clenching my fists.

"Yes ma'am." Paul said and ventured further into the house, with me following. Girls were passed out on the floor and the couch. With their shirts half way off and their jeans unzipped. Oh jeez. I wasn't going to slug my step brothers I was going to kill them.

"Suze?" A boy moaned. I looked up and there was Sleepy.

"Jake, what happened?" I asked.

"The party got a little out of hand." He responded. I sighed.

"Okay get everyone out of here. Did you see where Paul went?" I asked Sleepy.

"Um… I think he went upstairs?" He said and went to go wake up people and send them home. Upstairs? Why was Paul upstairs? I treaded up the stairs and noticed that my bedroom door was open. When I got there I heard two voices: Paul and Jesse's ? Jesse was still there!

_"Slater." Jesse said in a not particularly friendly voice._

_"Jesse," Paul said pleasantly. "How are you doing this evening?"_

_"I was doing better," Jesse said, "before you got here."_

_Paul's dark eyebrows rose, as if he were surprised to hear this. "Really? Suze didn't tell you the news then?"_

_"What n-" Jesse started to ask._

But I leaned on the door frame with my arms crossed over my chest and asked,

"What news Paul?" Paul turned around stunned to see me there.

"Nothing never mind Suze." He said.

"Well, if that's the case, Paul, why don't you go downstairs and help Jake and Brad get everyone out?" I asked pleasantly.

"Yeah, sure." Paul said and was about to go through the doorway when he stopped and said.

"Oh I forgot to give this to you while we were at the movies." _He dug into the pocket of his jeans and extracted something small and dark from it. "You left it in my bedroom the other day."_

_I looked down at what he held in his outstretched palm. It was my tortoiseshell hair clip, the one I'd been missing. But not since I'd been in his room. I'd been missing it since Monday morning, the first day of school. I must have dropped it then, and he picked it up._

_Picked it up and held it all week, just so he could fling it in Jesse's face, as he was doing now._

_And ruin my life. Because that's what Paul was._ Even after what I told him at the movies. _Paul wasn't a mediator. Not a shifter. A ruiner._

_A quick glance at Jesse showed me that those casually uttered words-_ Oh, I forgot to give this to you while we were at the movies you left it in my bedroom the other day-_had hit home, all right. Jesse looked as if he'd been punched in the stomach._

_I knew how he felt. Paul had that effect on people._

_"Thanks," I said, snatching the hair clip from his hand. "But I dropped it at school, not your place."_

_"Are you sure?" Paul smiled at me. It was amazing how guileless he could look when he wanted to. "I could have sworn you left it in my bed."_

_The fist came out of nowhere. I swear I didn't see it coming._ Seriously I didn't see it at all! And I was standing right there. But still it hit full force into Paul's face.

_Paul hadn't seen it coming, either. Otherwise he would have ducked. Taken completely off guard, he went spinning right into my dressing table. Perfume and nail polish bottles rained down on Paul's body collided heavily with the ruffle-skirted desk._

I rushed towards Paul. While screaming at Jesse. "YOU IDIOT! He was trying to get you to do that. Why are you giving him the satisfaction?"

"No I wasn't." Paul groaned as his nose bleed. I grabbed some tissues and had him hold them to his nose with his head tilted forward. Jesse looked at me in disbelief.

"Susannah he tried to kill you! And you're defending him and giving him first aid! Are you crazy?" Jesse said.

"No, Jesse I'm not crazy. Paul said he didn't try to kill me and you know what I believe him. And if you don't that's too bad." I said.

"Susannah…" Jesse whispered.

"No, Jesse, I don't want to hear it."

"Oh, I think you do, Suze." Paul said taking the tissue away from his nose the bleeding stopped.

"Paul what are you talking about?" I asked.

_Paul smirked. "Tell me something,_ Jesse_. Does she sigh when you kiss her, too?"_

_I wanted to kill him myself. How could he? How _could_ he?_

_The real question, of course, was how could _I_? How could I have been so stupid as to have let him kiss me like that? Because I _had_ let him-I had even kissed him back. None of this would be happening if I had exercised a little more self-restraint._

_I had been hurt, and I had been angry, and I had been, let's face it, lonely._

_Just like Paul._

_But I had never purposefully meant to hurt anyone._

Author's Notes: There you go another chapter of Photo for you all! It's still short I know but now you have to review right? So go review and as always I'll update soon!


	5. Chapter Five: A Photo Can Capture

Photo 

By: afallenblackrose

Chapter Five: A Photo Can Capture…

It was too much damn it! Too damn much. I kept hurting all these people and myself mentally and emotionally. How could I do this?

"Suze?" Paul said from behind me his nose still bleeding.

"Susannah?" Jesse said in front of me. His fist ready to send Paul flying once again but was clenched against his side. I looked from Paul to Hess and back again. Each one staring right back.

I had to get out of there. Away from them. I moved towards the bedroom door, but Jesse was in my way. I was trapped. Bedroom door was covered by Jesse. Paul covered the window. Where the hell was I supposed to go to get away from them?

Then from the corner of my eye I saw the unblocked bathroom door. Perfect. Paul wouldn't dare go in there. I highly doubt Jesse would either so…

I changed my direction and made it to the bathroom and closed the door before Jesse could stop me.

"Susannah!" Jesse said from the other side of the door.

"Jesse, leave here alone. She's obviously trying to get away from us." Paul said. I swear that guy could read my mind.

"And why do you think she wants to get away from us, Slater?" Jesse asked.

"She's confused and hurt Silva. And it doesn't help that we're here fighting either." Paul responded.

"Well, if that's how it is Slater, then why don't you leave? I can handle it from here."

"Oh, I don't think so, Jesse. I'm staying here until that door opens and she chooses." Choose? You mean after I walk out of this room I'm suppose to choose between them?

Oh God, what have I done?

"You got yourself into a predicament my dear."

"Dad?" I asked looking at the wall where I heard his voice. That is where my father materialized.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Great timing." I remarked.

"Well, Suze, who are you going to choose?" My dad asked.

"I don't know." I whispered.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Jesse and Paul are probably listening and like in Paul's case, I don't want to inflate his ego." I smiled at my own joke. Okay so how was I supposed to do this? Paul and Jesse were really great guys. Should I compare the two? I could try that. Let's see ….

Paul is…

a. same age as me

b. hot

c. a mediator or shifter

d. evil

e. tried to kill me

f. alive

g. Has made sexual passes at me. Even though I'm pretty sure all it I feel for him is lust.

Jesse is…

a. older than me by at least a century and a half.

b. Hot

c. Helps me with ghosts.

d. Isn't evil

e. Didn't try to kill me and has in fact saved my life a few times

f. Dead.

g. Hasn't tried to make any sexual passes at me even though I desperately want him too!

So there you have it. Obviously I have to pick Jesse. Yet the whole dead thing… oh well, I'll deal right? I've loved him this long.

"Well, my dear have you chosen?"

I nodded.

"Good for you! Now, go out there and tell them who you chose. I reckon they'll be at each other's throats soon if you don't tell them."

Oops, there's another thing I forgot to consider. What will Paul do when he finds out I chose Jesse?

_I-can't-breathe._

"Honey, are you okay?"

"Actually no I'm not." I whispered.

"Ah, you're worried about what will happen when you choose and if you'll regret choosing this person."

"Exactly." I responded.

"Well, you can't find out just sitting there!" My dad exclaimed.

He was right. Besides if people started to doubt things America wouldn't exist right?

I got up from my seat, but all of a sudden I wasn't standing. I was falling and I hit my head **hard** on the bathtub knocking me out. Cold.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

When I came too, I woke up in a bed that wasn't my own.

"Morning." A voice whispered near my ear. A masculine voice that was very familiar. I turned around to lie flat on my back. Next to me was a very grown up Paul.

Holy s…

"Morning." I whispered back.

"How are you feeling? Better?" Paul asked. Huh?

"I feel fine." I said.

"That's good. You scared me last night. Fainting in the bathroom." Fainting in the bathroom? Of course! I'm knocked out cold still, but it's all a dream. So this is what would happen if I chose Paul. Okay, maybe I can start to breathe.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't feeling well last night."

"I've noticed that you haven't been feeling well a lot lately. Are you sure you're okay?" He asked.

"Perfect. You know it's just stress. Or I could be getting the flu." I responded.

"The flu? Yeah, it seems that a lot of people are getting the flu lately. If that's the case, you are staying in bed today." He said and started to nuzzle my neck.

Oh, great. So he hasn't really changed. Okay, time to wake up. WAKE UP!

Author's Notes: There you go chapter five of Photo. I apologize for it being so short but I wasn't really inspired! Go review and I'll update soon!


	6. Chapter Six: The Way We Were

Photo

By: afallenblackrose

AN: watches for the angry mob with torches and pitchforks Before the mob kills me, I'm sorry for not updating in such a long time. But I'm updating now, so don't kill me.

Chapter Six: The Way We Were

I kept trying to wake up as Paul nuzzled my neck. But life decided to piss me off and not let me regain consciousness from this freaky nightmare.

I sighed in defeat, but Paul took it as a sign to move his lips to my own. As he kissed me I started to feel the urge…

…the urge to _throw up_.

I wrestled my lips away from Paul's and made a dash to the bathroom.

"Suze? Are you okay?" Paul asked as I emptied my stomach into the toilet bowl.

"Do not come in," I groaned. "This isn't pretty." Paul walked in anyway and bent down and felt my forehead.

"You're not running a fever," he said. "Was it something you ate last night?"

"I don't know," I groaned as I threw up again. Then a small calendar caught my eye.

"No, f'ing way," I muttered.

"What is it?" Paul asked. I looked at him then at the calendar and back again. Just the thought of what this could mean sent me vomiting into the toilet again.

"Look, I have to go to work," he said then looked at me. "Or I could call in sick. Are you going to be okay?" I glanced at him.

"Go ahead," I whispered. "I'll be fine."

"Okay," he said and kissed my forehead. As soon as he left the bathroom I grabbed the calendar and flipped through it.

I was three weeks late. I groaned.

Then I emptied my stomach one last time. What was with this freaky nightmare? Was it trying to make me _not_ choose Paul?

Mission accomplished, I never was going to choose Paul anyway.

Now, can I go home?

Or better yet, show me a future with Jesse!

I closed my eyes and waited. Three minutes passed and still nothing. I opened my eyes and I was still in the bathroom. What could that mean? Was I supposed to live this future out until I regained consciousness? Or…

I shook my head not daring to believe it.

Did it mean that I had no future with Jesse? I sat on the floor lost in thought. Was Paul actually right? Were Jesse and I _never_ going to happen? Tears started to form in my eyes. I wouldn't (read couldn't) believe it. Jesse and I were meant to be with each other. Sure, we've only kissed once and we haven't talked about it since, but why else would he have kissed me?

Unless it was an experiment to see if there was something there between us.

And Jesse felt nothing so now he was writing it off like it never happened in the first place. My heart sunk further into the pit of my empty stomach.

I wiped the tears that continued to fall from my eyes. I couldn't cry in a situation like this. I was stuck in the future where I was _married to Paul Slater_!

I had to find my own way out of this _nightmare_. My stomach started to churn again.

I flushed the toilet and got up from the bathroom floor. I had to go to the drug store to find a _pregnancy test_.

As I washed my hands something strange happened. I felt like I was outside of my body. I looked around and sure enough the body in front of the sink _didn't move_.

Wait a minute, why was this happening? I thought I was supposed to live through this future. Not watch it like some damn TV show!

The room around me faded out into a dining room. It was dark outside and I was staring at myself at the head of the table.

That's when Paul walked in.

"Suze, I'm home!" He exclaimed. I stared silently as my body didn't move.

"I'm in the dining room," the future Suze said. Footsteps echoed into the room. Why was this place so enormous if it was just Paul and I?

Paul walked into the dining room.

"Something smells great," he commented as he sniffed the pot on the stove. "Spaghetti?" The future me nodded. Paul helped himself to a large portion and then sat down across from the future me.

He ate slowly and stared at the future me worried. The future Suze wasn't eating her food.

"Eat something!" I exclaimed to her. Both Paul and the future Suze looked up in wonderment.

Damn, I forgot I was a "ghost."

"Strange," Paul whispered. "I could have sworn…"

"I know," Suze said. "But maybe we're just imagining things?" Paul shrugged and continued to eat. Suze stared silently at her plate. I grumbled across the room. If she didn't eat anything Paul would know something was up.

"Suze," he said after a while. "Are you sure you're feeling all right? You weren't looking so hot this morning when I left." Suze looked up at him.

"I'm fine," she replied. "It's just…" She sighed in annoyance.

"It's just what?" Paul asked. Suze looked at her food.

"I got some news today," she said silently. Paul kept looking at her waiting for the future me to continue. Suze took a deep breath and continued.

"It wasn't the flu that I had," she said. "I'm pregnant." My stomach started to churn. I was going to have Paul's baby?!

"Repeat that again," Paul whispered. Suze looked up at him and stared right at him.

"I'm going to have your child," she repeated. Paul rose from his chair and walked towards Suze. I started to cringe. What was he going to do? Suze's eyes never left his.

"But how? I thought we were being careful?" Paul asked. My stomach started to churn again.

"We were," she replied. "Except the night of the storm." Paul smiled fondly at Suze. I sat on the counter in wonder. He seemed harmless; he wasn't going to hurt the future me.

In fact he looked like he was glowing with pleasure.

He placed his hand on Suze's stomach and rubbed. Suze smiled at him.

"I can't believe there's going to be a baby growing inside," Paul said.

"There already is a baby inside of there," Suze pointed out. "It isn't too big but it's there." Paul smiled and kissed Suze on the cheek. I glanced at the scene before me.

This was the normal life I've always longed for. Even though it was with Paul, but Paul was a mediator/shifter too. He'd understand what I was going through.

So was I suppose to pick Paul?

The room started to fade around me.

XxXxXx 

I woke up on the bathroom floor. _My_ bathroom floor. My father was standing above me.

"Well?" He asked. I groaned as a massive headache started.

"Well, I'm more confused then ever," I replied.

"Oh?" His eyebrow arched. "Tell me."

"I went to a future where I was married to Paul Slater," I began, my voice whispering. "Then I was pregnant. He was so excited." My father watched me with an attentive eye.

"So, you're choosing Paul?" He asked. I groaned again.

"I don't know," I replied. "I mean, Jesse is sweet and all but I'm in love with him, and Paul still gives me the creeps!"

"But?" My father asked.

"But with Paul I have a chance at the normal life I always wanted." I sighed in defeat and closed my eyes.

"You have to make a decision, Susannah," my father said.

"What about going to the future to see where I'd be if I chose Jesse?" I asked. My father shook his head.

"With Jesse there is no certainty of a future." I groaned. Just like I thought when I was in the future.

"No certainty?" I repeated. "_None at all_?"

"Suze, you know with any future there is no certainty," my father said.

"So, the future that I saw with Paul?" I asked.

"Will happen," he said. "_If_ you choose Paul." I sat up.

"I want that normal life, Dad," I said. "But not if I can't have Jesse."

"Well then, go out there and tell them," my dad said and disappeared.

"Thanks a lot," I muttered. I sat there thinking. I had made a list, I'd seen the fights, and I saw the future with Paul.

I had kissed both Paul and Jesse.

I had fallen in love with Jesse, a love that was unrequited.

I wanted to bang my head on something.

That's it! If banging my head on the edge of the bathtub made me live through a future with Paul then why couldn't I do it again?

Only this time I would see a future with Jesse.

The only bad side was the concussion I was sure to have.

But I've had plenty of those before.

Anything to see my future with Jesse.

I stood up and positioned myself so when I fell my head would hit the bathtub. I started to drop myself when a spectral glow caught me.

"Susannah, what do you think you're doing?" Jesse asked me. I cursed him in my head.

"I should be asking the same thing," I responded.

"I'm saving you from hitting the back of your head on the bathtub," he replied coolly. He stood me upright.

"You shouldn't be in here," I said as I brushed off my shirt. His "touch" still gave me the chills, but in a good way. I looked at him, knowing I'd be drawn into his charms.

"Susannah, if I hadn't caught you, you would have a concussion." Jesse said his arms crossed over his chest.

"Well, maybe that's what I was trying to do," I muttered. Jesse's eyebrow arched in question. He'd heard that.

"And why would you…" Jesse began to ask, but was cut off as Paul opened the door.

I thought I locked that thing!

"Great, I didn't miss anything," Paul said. I gave him a dirty look.

"This bathroom is getting crowded," I replied and made my way to the door. Paul and Jesse followed behind me. "Why won't you two get the hint? I want to be left alone!" I exclaimed.

"You had your time alone," Paul said.

"When we left you alone, I come in and find you trying to throw yourself down towards the bathtub." Jesse said. Paul looked at Jesse then to me.

"Throw yourself down to the bathtub?" Paul asked. "Were you trying to give yourself a concussion?"

"What does it matter?" I asked. "I've had my fair share of concussions over the years."

"That weren't self caused?" Jesse countered.

"Not many," I replied. "But this one was different." Paul and Jesse looked at me.

"How is this one 'different'?" Paul asked. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll keep the reason to myself, thanks," I said. A hand touched my shoulder.

"Susannah…" he said his cool eyes on mine. I shook my head.

"No," I replied. "First of all don't you have somewhere to be?" Jesse removed his hand from my shoulder.

"Susannah, I'm here as long as you need me," he said.

"As long as _I_ need you?" I asked near hysterics. "The last time I saw you, you were on your way to the rectory. Telling me 'it was all for the best.' And now…" Angry tears streamed down my face. Jesse and Paul froze. They couldn't deal with a near hysteric mediator.

I turned away from them and went down the stairs. Max was on the last step.

I tripped over him and landed face first into the carpet.

"Suze!" Paul exclaimed.

"Susannah!" Jesse exclaimed.

"I'm fine," I replied getting back on my feet. No one was in the living room. I clenched my nose as it started to bleed.

"Suze, are you trying to kill yourself?" Paul asked handing me a handkerchief.

"You think that was intentional?" I asked. "Max was on the last step, I didn't see him." I took the handkerchief and wiped away the blood.

"But you landed on your head," Jesse said. "Why are you trying to knock yourself out?" I grimaced.

"I landed on my face. But again, I'm keeping my reason to myself," I said and kept walking. Paul's hand turned me around.

"Why do you keep trying to knock yourself out?" He asked.

"What makes you so sure I'm going to tell _you_ the reason?" I asked.

"Who else are you going to tell?" Paul countered. I threw up my hands.

"Fine!" I exclaimed. "If you want to know so _damn_ badly I'll tell you."

"Really?" Jesse asked.

"No," I replied. Jesse and Paul exchanged looks of concern.

"Sussanah," Jesse said. "Please tell us what's going on." I glanced at either of them finding the irony of the situation hilarious.

"What's going on," I started to say. "Is that I can't choose between the two of you!" I clamped my hand over my mouth. I can't believe I just said that.

I turned away frustrated and walked into the kitchen.

"And what does that have to do with you trying to knock yourself out?" Paul asked. I laughed.

"Everything really," I muttered.

"Care to explain?" Jesse asked.

"Not really," I sighed. "But if it will get you two of my back then fine." Jesse and Paul looked at me expectantly. I grimaced.

"When I ran into the bathroom, my father showed up," I said. "I was talking with him about the decision I had to make when next thing I know I've been knocked out. When I wake up…I'm not in the present, I'm in the future."

"The future?" Paul asked. "But that's impossible, you can't do that."

"Well, I did," I said.

"And what was this future?" Jesse asked. I grimaced again.

"In this future I was married," I replied.

"Married to who?" Paul asked.

"To you," I stared at him.

Author's Notes: There you go a lengthy sixth chapter to make up for the months of not updating! Review and I'll update soon!


	7. Chapter Seven: The Way We Are

_Photo_

_By: afallenblackrose_

_Chapter Seven: _ _The Way We Are_

Jesse and Paul froze as my words sunk in. They both looked at each other then at me. Jesse was sullen, and Paul's eyes were alight with…I didn't know what. All I knew was that the emotion that Paul was feeling he hadn't felt before. Or at least, I hadn't seen him feel this emotion before.

"But that doesn't explain why you wanted to knock yourself out again," Jesse said. I froze. Paul probably knew why I tried to re-knock myself out. Would he tell Jesse?

Sure enough, the emotion that I couldn't name before turned to one I could. Anger. "You've got to be kidding me!" Paul exclaimed. "You tried to knock yourself out, to see a future with him, because you didn't like the future you saw with me?" Jesse looked at me confused. I didn't return his gaze. I felt my cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

"Is it true?" He asked. I didn't say anything. Paul looked between us. A smirk played on his lips.

"Oh, this is good," Paul laughed. "He doesn't know?"

I glared at him somehow knowing what he was planning. "Don't you dare say anything," I seethed at him. I would probably die of embarrassment right there if he did. But not before I pummeled Paul to a bloody pulp first.

"Oh come on, Suze, Jesse wants to know why you'd try to see a future with him," Paul replied. "Well, you see Jesse, dear Suze here has - "

"Paul, shut up!" I exclaimed.

"Please, don't interrupt," Paul said. "Now where was I? Oh yes, Suze has feelings for you." There was absolute silence.

_Asshole_ I mouthed at Paul, he just smiled and shrugged. I balled up my fists ready to punch Paul. He had no right to tell Jesse that!

You would think, since it was my secret to tell, I should have had the right to jump on Paul and beat him senseless. And I really, really should have….

But, I never got the chance to. Jesse was on him before I could even protest. Catching both Paul and me in surprise.

"What the he - ?" Paul exclaimed. I blinked. Why was Jesse doing this? Shouldn't I be punching the hell out of him?

"Jesse," I softly said. Jesse looked up. "Why are you doing this?" He backed away from Paul and looked at me. His face was serious and lined with concentration. Then he disappeared.

I sighed. He was such a coward. I looked over at Paul who was hunched over and in pain. I opened the freezer and threw him a bag of peas.

"Why did you tell him?" I asked. Paul smiled a bloody grin.

"I shouldn't have been the one to tell him," he said. "You should have." I rolled my eyes.

"It's not easy to tell someone," I whispered. "It was either bad timing, a new ghost, and why the hell am I explaining this to you?" Paul grinned and took a seat.

"I'm really easy to talk to," he replied. I rolled my eyes again. This guy was a piece of work.

"So is Rico coming back or is he gone for good?" Paul asked. I sat down in another chair.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I really don't know." Paul looked at me.

"Suze, about what we talked about back at the movies…"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Is it still true?"

"I'll let you know," I replied. Once I find out about Jesse and his intentions. Paul got up from the chair.

"I better get going then," he said. "Later Suze, and thanks for the peas." He walked out of the room with the bag of peas still over his eye. The sad thing was, as I watched him go all I could think about was how _good_ he looked even though he was holding that bag of peas over his eye. It shouldn't be fair for guys to look that gorgeous.

I looked after him and sighed. It had been a _very long day_.

A few moments after Paul left, I saw a shimmer and groaned. _Well, that didn't take long._ "Susannah," Jesse's voice said as he reappeared. I looked up surprised to see him. I had thought it would have been my dad showing up to chastise me for not telling Paul and Jesse whom I chose.

"Jesse," I responded acknowledging him.

"Is Slater gone?" He asked. I nodded.

"Susannah, I need to know if it's true."

"If what's true?" I asked.

"Did you really try to knock yourself out to see a future with me?"

"Well…yeah…" I trailed off. _Not that it matters_. I thought to myself.

"Why?" He pleaded.

"Jesse, you don't believe what Paul said do you?"

"Why should I?" Jesse asked. "He tried to kill you, remember?"

I sighed. Of course I remembered. I still had nightmares about that place.

"What if he wasn't trying to kill me?" I asked. "What if what he said about me having feelings for you is true?" Jesse just looked at me.

"Susannah," he whispered. "I'm a ghost, you can't have feelings for me. Just like I can't have feelings for you." I stared at him questioning. What could he have possibly meant?

"Jesse, what about…" I trailed off. He knew what I was talking about.

"Exactly. We can't have feelings for each other Susannah."

"Why?" I asked. "Just because you're a ghost?"

"Well, yes," he replied looking at me. "We can't work out. How will you explain things to your friends? Your family? I mean you still have to tell them that you are a mediator."

"They don't need to know that I'm a mediator. Just like they don't have to know that I'm dating a ghost."

"Dating?" Jesse asked. "Susannah, we can't."

"No, _you_ can't." I clarified. "You're so stubborn."

"I wonder where I get that from?" Jesse countered. I laughed.

"Obviously you've been hanging out with me too much."

"Kidding aside, Susannah, you know we wouldn't work out," Jesse replied, serious. I sighed.

"Why? Just because I couldn't tell my family and my friends, which by the way, CeCe already knows about you."

"CeCe knows?" Jesse asked, arching his eyebrow.

"Well…not about the whole ghost thing, but she knows about you." I tried not to remember how CeCe came to find out about Jesse. It had been purely an accident. She was coming to talk to me before our first class on the first day and Paul had been talking to me about him. CeCe being the girl that she is overheard and immediately started questioning me about who Jesse was. Then there was the whole roses incident. Which…speaking of, why didn't Jesse remember that?

"So, that's why she asked if the roses were from me," he whispered looking up at me. I nodded my head. He continued to sit there staring at me, but I noticed fairly quickly, he wasn't really staring at me. He was staring off into space. I sighed internally. He was going to over think this and realize how we shouldn't be together. I just knew he would, because that was the type of person, I mean ghost, he was.

I scowled down at the table as he continued to think. This made me start to think. Jesse was a ghost. I wouldn't really be able to go out on dates with him. Not unless I wanted to look like a crazy person (correction: _crazier_ person). I wouldn't be able to show him off to my friends, and girls like Kelly would probably think I was making him up. Not to mention that eventually, Jesse would probably move on. Even though it hadn't yet happened over the last 150 years. But eventually, he _would_ move on. And what would that leave me with? Absolutely nothing, but a broken heart.

Maybe Paul and Jesse were right. Maybe my future, the one I saw, was supposed to happen. Maybe I did choose Paul. I looked up to Jesse to see that he was still thinking. I couldn't help but find it ironic, that even though I had been angry at him for thinking this long that _I_ would be the one to start over thinking things.

"Susannah," Jesse began. "I still believe that we shouldn't be together. I'm a ghost and you're still a teenaged girl with the rest of your life to live. I know, that right now it might hurt you, but I think it's for the best if I go stay at the rectory for awhile." Before I could even reply, Jesse was gone. I stared at the spot that he had just occupied and laughed. I don't know why, maybe because of the irony of it all? But I just sat there for a good ten minutes and laughed until I cried.

Jesse unofficially dumped me. Even though I had been ready to tell him that he was right and that I shouldn't date him. It wouldn't work out. But he had done it first. Now, what was I supposed to do?

"Suze?" Dopey sluggishly asked walking into the kitchen. "I know I uh, shouldn't be asking this. But could you, uh, help us out?"

I got up from my chair and walked into the other room. Cleaning would definitely get my mind off of things for the moment. At least until I could figure out what to do next.

"Sure, I'll help," I told my stepbrother. "But you _so_ owe me for this."

**THE END.**

Author's Notes: Oh, I know what you're going to say. I waited three freaking years for an update from you, and _this_ is what you give me? Well, to put it mildly, yes. I'm sorry, but it has been three years and I had totally forgotten where I had planned on taking this story so this is how it ends. I was going to put a scene with Paul at the end the next day at school, but I decided against it. How bad would it be for her to break up with Jesse and go straight into Paul's arms? Pretty bad. However, if you want me to write that scene as an epilogue, let me know. Please review!


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